Top Stories

Mayor Appoints New Police Chief

Mayor Gondola is keeping police business in the family this time. Last night, the Mayor’s office released a statement confirming the appointment of Roxie Gondola as the new Police Chief of the recently reinstated Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD). Ms. Gondola is the daughter of Mayor Gondola. The press release confirmed the City Council unanimously approved Ms. Gondola. In the past, a high-profile appointment such as … Continue reading Mayor Appoints New Police Chief

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Crime

Protest Against Video Game Violence Breaks Out in Violence

Activists arrived to Thick Pickins electronic department yesterday evening to allegedly shame and protest video game purchasers who were buying games with violent content. The group of 10 activists stood in the video game aisle and attempted to physically block consumers from the games they intended to purchase. Some folks simply walked away saying they’ll purchase their games at a local boutique video game shop, … Continue reading Protest Against Video Game Violence Breaks Out in Violence

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Special Report

Studies Released Backing Mayor’s Medieval Agenda

Results of three government-funded studies were released to the public this week. As expected, the conclusions support Mayor Gondola’s rumored draconian agenda to turn the gasoline engines off, the lights out, and empty the meat shelves throughout Cinniapolis. Ladies and Gentlemen, Stop Those Engines (unless they’re electric)The city-wide network of noise cameras may have been the jab, but the release of a new study, “The … Continue reading Studies Released Backing Mayor’s Medieval Agenda

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Top Stories

City Manager Wellington Stepping Down

The Chorus has learned Justine Wellington has resigned as City Manager. Details are still scarce around the exact reason but sources indicate Ms. Wellington and Mayor Gondola butted heads frequently prior to this past February’s special election and were not on speaking terms after the election won by Mayor Gondola. While the Mayor often touted Ms. Wellington’s progressive agenda, he rarely pursued any meaningful legislation … Continue reading City Manager Wellington Stepping Down

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Business

Internet Service Expanding Subscription Plans

The Amerovich Organization, the leading internet provider in Cinniapolis, announced plans this morning to unveil new subscription plans for their internet service. The days of one price for an all encompassing internet service appear to be numbered. Ivan Amerovich spoke to the assembled media this morning after the news was announced, “We have listened to the feedback of our consumers. The running theme is that … Continue reading Internet Service Expanding Subscription Plans

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Sports

Linsington to Forego Senior Baseball Season

Cinniapolis Prep sits atop the preseason high school baseball rankings. But that ranking could be in jeopardy with this morning’s news that Senior Captain, Barry Linsington, will skip his Senior baseball season to begin training for the upcoming college football season. Mr. Linsington committed to a full scholarship a few weeks ago to play football at Cinniapolis State. However, sources familiar with his NIL (Name, … Continue reading Linsington to Forego Senior Baseball Season

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Technology

Noise Camera Systems Seen Throughout Cinniapolis

Cinniapolitans have taken notice of new camera systems recently installed throughout Cinniapolis communities. As of this morning, #bigbrocinni was trending on CNPS Stream with various users posting videos of cameras already installed and videos of crews working under the cover of night to discreetly affix cameras to buildings, light poles, traffic lights, and even a chapel. The Chorus has confirmed with Mayor Gondola’s office that … Continue reading Noise Camera Systems Seen Throughout Cinniapolis

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Crime

Cinniapolis Police Department to be Reinstated

The Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD) will be reinstated sometime this Spring or Summer, according to law enforcement sources. Those same sources also confirm there is no plan to absolve the Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD) nor diminish the role of the Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) within the Cinniapolis law enforcement structure. While there are no firm plans to disclose yet, the Mayor is rumored to have … Continue reading Cinniapolis Police Department to be Reinstated

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Top Stories

Oliver Roseman Receives Hero’s Welcome Home

Former Mayoral candidate and owner of the Beaned Café, Oliver Roseman, returned home after several days in the hospital recovering from injuries sustained during an armed robbery. Cinniapolitans lined the streets from Reunion to Centralis waving, hooting, and hollering support for Mr. Roseman as he made his home. Seated as a passenger in the front seat, Mr. Roseman appeared overwhelmed with the support but waved … Continue reading Oliver Roseman Receives Hero’s Welcome Home

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Weather

Spring 2023 Forecast

The Cinniapolis Spring 2023 long range forecast presents continuing dry conditions for areas around town this Spring. After a mild winter, the conditions are setting up Cinniapolis for a temperate Spring. But, beware, as Spring transitions into Summer, the above average temperatures and drought conditions could lead to an active and longer wildfire season. However, this is a forecast for Spring, so let’s talk about … Continue reading Spring 2023 Forecast

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