Recently, the Chorus reported the relocation of Martha’s EyeCare and the exit of Fowler Chophouse from Cinniapolis due to rising crime and tyrannical policies set forth by Mayor Gondola’s administration. This morning, back-to-back press releases were published from the Mayor’s office. It is certainly odd for a government entity to make announcements regarding private businesses but these are odd times. Each press release is presented, … Continue reading Stay Right There!
The CNPS-TV meteorology team presents good news for the Autumn 2023 forecast, if you like warmer temps through the October and November months. Unfortunately for those preferring Winter temps that arrive as early as October, this Fall might not meet those expectations. CNPS-TV Lead Meteorologist, Fran Dimple assessed the long-range forecast for this Autumn, “We’re going to see an extension of the dry, arid Summer … Continue reading Autumn 2023 Forecast
The first-ever meat trafficker was arrested yesterday by undercover CPD officers in Walesburg. The operation was part of a months-long sting, after receiving a tip in July about planned underground meat markets conducting clandestine business in the back-alleys of Walesburg. Trent Leddo, a retired Cinni Prep teacher, was arrested selling 100 lbs. of ground beef, chicken wings, and pork tenderloins to the CPD in the … Continue reading Meat Trafficker Arrested
Before the first take-home meal kit could be sold, Fowler Chophouse announced on their CNPS Stream that they will no longer be offering any take-home meal kits that include meat. They will also not be selling any cuts of meat for customers to take home. The video noted that they were in contact with the recently reinstated Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD), who informed them that … Continue reading Fowler Halts To-Go Meat & Meal Sales
Starting this Friday at 11:00 AM, come in to Fowler Chophouse to celebrate 64 years of family, food, and filled bellies. Everything must go! And, everything must go at steeply discounted prices! Spend all weekend getting the meat sweats from our Rotisserie Chicken or Sweet & Spicy Ribs. We’ll even be serving up breakfast and lunch entrees to move through their our inventory. Prime Rib … Continue reading The Last Supper…Breakfast and Lunch, All Weekend Long!
Mayor Gondola’s administration approved legislation for scheduled rolling residential blackouts beginning in the Summer of 2024. Stacked on top of the pending meat ban, the scheduled blackouts are another salvo from this administration in its fight against climate change. The administration will partner with Grover Electric, the sole electricity provider in Cinniapolis, to schedule these blackouts during times of minimum electricity usage. President of Grover … Continue reading Residential Rolling Blackouts Approved
In a predictable move, Fowler Chophouse announced its plans to exit Cinniapolis. Fowler’s team released a statement explaining their decision. “Fowler Chophouse opened in 1959 as a modest steakhouse in a growing metropolis. Over the last 6 decades, Cinniapolitans love of the family atmosphere, dedicated service, and delicious meals at Fowler’s made it a destination for out-of-towners and Cinniapolis’ most esteemed guests. We are sad … Continue reading Fowler Chophouse Leaving Cinniapolis
There are 26 days, 624 hours, 37,440 minutes, and 2,246,400 seconds left until midnight September 5th, 2023. On that 5th day of September, meat will be officially outlawed and no longer available to produce, sell, purchase, nor consume in Cinniapolis. Well, not all meat, by the basic definition as being the flesh of any animal. As far as anyone can tell, the legislation allows fish … Continue reading The Final Chow Down
Cinniapolis has reported a record number of lightning strikes to residential buildings during this Spring and Summer storm season. While not unusual for lightning to hit a building or residence each year, the frequency with which these bolts are destroying property is noteworthy. Several residences have been condemned over the past several weeks as dry thunderstorms barrel through the region. These storms have displayed a … Continue reading Lightning Crashes
Fresh off the recent announcement banning meat in Cinniapolis, residential meat freezer sales have increased rapidly. Consumers are predictably clearing out the meat shelves at Thick Pickins and Dragg Meat and Dairy. However, few saw the demand for personal meat freezers spiking so rapidly. The Chorus spoke to Thick Pickins General General Manager, Shaquille Aston, about this past week’s freezer sales, “It’s an item we’ve … Continue reading Residential Meat Freezers Sales Skyrocket
Cinniapolis Chorus 