Sports

Cinni Prep Football Misses Postseason Again

Head Coach Benny Marmalade summed up this season succinctly, “When we were good, we were great. When we were bad, we were awful,” he said. Leave it to classic, non-specific coachspeak to put a stamp on another promising yet ultimately disappointing season for the Catfish. The team missed out on the postseason for the sixth straight season and local supporters are starting to loudly question … Continue reading Cinni Prep Football Misses Postseason Again

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Technology

Mayor Gondola’s Electric Snow Plow Fleet Gets First Test Next Week

During Mayor Gondola’s August State of the City speech, he alluded to gas powered automobiles as a detriment to the environment and promised to usher in an era of clean energy electric automobiles. While he didn’t specifically mention them by name, his administration has been eager to roll out their new electric snow plow trucks as proof that automobiles of the future will be powered … Continue reading Mayor Gondola’s Electric Snow Plow Fleet Gets First Test Next Week

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Weather

Snowstorm Heading to Cinniapolis

This is one October surprise not crafted by politicians. The headline is true, a snowstorm event will reach Cinniapolis next weekend. Early models forecast three to ten inches falling over the span of 24 hours from Friday evening into Saturday evening. While this event could be on the mild side, the forecast does guarantee measurable snow. Whether or not it’ll be several inches should be … Continue reading Snowstorm Heading to Cinniapolis

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Fashion

Last Minute Halloween Costumes: Quick and Easy

The spooky season is approaching its finale and if you’re above the age of 12, you may need some last-minute, quick and easy costume ideas. Allow the Chorus to step in and provide our readers with low maintenance costume ideas that will save you the trouble of answering “Why didn’t you dress up this year?”. Conspiracy Theorist: dress comfortably and say odd things about government … Continue reading Last Minute Halloween Costumes: Quick and Easy

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Advertisements

Calling All Skilled Men, Women, and Teenagers

The Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) is organizing a hunting party to track, trap, or kill the mystery creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their dogs. There have been multiple reported incidents but the HSL suspects there have been several unreported incidents due to numerous animal cremation requests to Huron Funeral Home. Any volunteers must provide their own supplies. The HSL will not provide arms, ammo, or trapping … Continue reading Calling All Skilled Men, Women, and Teenagers

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Business

Beaned Café Announces Partnership with Saturday Gardens

Oliver Roseman, owner of Beaned Café, and Debut Saturday, owner of Saturday Gardens, visited 510 AM this morning to announce their new partnership for a meatless menu. These new items will be available for purchase at all Beaned Café locations starting this Winter. Both gentlemen formed a mutual appreciation for one another’s success in each of their respective industries. Mr. Roseman has gone from a … Continue reading Beaned Café Announces Partnership with Saturday Gardens

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Top Stories

Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

The activist group calling themselves Private Citizens denounced the recent violence carried out against the Dragg farm cattle at the Five Families Farms. The Chorus received correspondence matching the forensics from this group’s previous communications to the Chorus staff. The letter is printed below, in full and unedited: Dearest Cinniapolitans,We only wish to address the cowards that tried to frame us for the unholy devastation … Continue reading Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

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Sports

Formal Investigation Announced into Derby Finish

The Cinniapolis City Council has agreed to form a committee to investigate the finish from the 2022 Cinniapolis Derby. This year’s finish was hotly contested both on the track and off the track. The photo finish image was never released or leaked to the public, causing massive outcry from losing bettors and the general public. Conspiracies have consumed horse-racing enthusiasts all over town. “It was … Continue reading Formal Investigation Announced into Derby Finish

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Crime

Mysterious Creature Snatching Dogs

The CSD has issued an alert to all dog owners after a recent spate of dog thefts from Cinniapolis households. Several households have reported a large-human sized animal has been spotted in their backyards while their dog is out. This news comes on the heels of Arn Murphy recently alleging he was mauled by an unknown creature while out for a bike ride. While there … Continue reading Mysterious Creature Snatching Dogs

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