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Calling All Skilled Men, Women, and Teenagers

The Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) is organizing a hunting party to track, trap, or kill the mystery creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their dogs. There have been multiple reported incidents but the HSL suspects there have been several unreported incidents due to numerous animal cremation requests to Huron Funeral Home. Any volunteers must provide their own supplies. The HSL will not provide arms, ammo, or trapping … Continue reading Calling All Skilled Men, Women, and Teenagers

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Business

Beaned Café Announces Partnership with Saturday Gardens

Oliver Roseman, owner of Beaned Café, and Debut Saturday, owner of Saturday Gardens, visited 510 AM this morning to announce their new partnership for a meatless menu. These new items will be available for purchase at all Beaned Café locations starting this Winter. Both gentlemen formed a mutual appreciation for one another’s success in each of their respective industries. Mr. Roseman has gone from a … Continue reading Beaned Café Announces Partnership with Saturday Gardens

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Top Stories

Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

The activist group calling themselves Private Citizens denounced the recent violence carried out against the Dragg farm cattle at the Five Families Farms. The Chorus received correspondence matching the forensics from this group’s previous communications to the Chorus staff. The letter is printed below, in full and unedited: Dearest Cinniapolitans,We only wish to address the cowards that tried to frame us for the unholy devastation … Continue reading Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

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Sports

Formal Investigation Announced into Derby Finish

The Cinniapolis City Council has agreed to form a committee to investigate the finish from the 2022 Cinniapolis Derby. This year’s finish was hotly contested both on the track and off the track. The photo finish image was never released or leaked to the public, causing massive outcry from losing bettors and the general public. Conspiracies have consumed horse-racing enthusiasts all over town. “It was … Continue reading Formal Investigation Announced into Derby Finish

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Crime

Mysterious Creature Snatching Dogs

The CSD has issued an alert to all dog owners after a recent spate of dog thefts from Cinniapolis households. Several households have reported a large-human sized animal has been spotted in their backyards while their dog is out. This news comes on the heels of Arn Murphy recently alleging he was mauled by an unknown creature while out for a bike ride. While there … Continue reading Mysterious Creature Snatching Dogs

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Fish Cakes for All

Penney’s Fish Market Fish Cakes are back for a limited time. Don’t miss out on your chance to savor cakes from the sea of Cinniapolis, otherwise known as Lake Sinnissippi. These one-of-a-kind delicacies will have your kids asking, “What is this delicious dinner treat?” When you respond “fish”, their absolute delight and joy at feeding them hearty fish will make your week. If there’s one … Continue reading Fish Cakes for All

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Special Report

Chess Murphy Stumps for Special Election

In light of the recent turbulence in Cinniapolis, Chess Murphy gave an exclusive interview to the Cinniapolis Chorus Investigative Team (CCIT). As the Chairman of both Murphy Waste Management and Murphy Construction, Mr. Murphy believes new leadership is needed immediately to usher Cinniapolis into brighter days. He sat down with our team at Fowler Chophouse, located on the ground floor of The Great Eastern Hotel. … Continue reading Chess Murphy Stumps for Special Election

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Top Stories

Bovines Bombed

The Dragg farm cattle herd was bombed last night in an apparent escalation of violence surrounding Cinniapolis’s climate agenda. Sources allege a group of intruders infiltrated the Dragg farm property, located within the Five Families Farms compound, and affixed explosives to as many cows as possible before being chased off by private security. As the private security team was returning to the cattle pen to … Continue reading Bovines Bombed

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Entertainment

St. Boris Holding Autumn Auction

St. Boris Church will be holding its fourth annual Autumn Auction to help raise funds for the parish and elementary school. Last year, the proceeds from the auction were used to purchase new toilets for the school and church. Money well-spent if nature calls one while in the Lord’s house. There were a wide range of items and experiences to bid on last year, including … Continue reading St. Boris Holding Autumn Auction

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Opinion

Opinion on Private Citizens Media Treatment

Recently, y’all (Cinniapolis Chorus) published a letter from a criminal enterprise calling themselves Private Citizens. How irresponsible, how short-sighted, how typical of today’s mainline media injecting fake news into the veins of Cinniapolitans everywhere. How dare you hook the public on this drug by shining a spotlight on their nefarious actions. All I heard about the past few days is this rogue group of misfits … Continue reading Opinion on Private Citizens Media Treatment

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