Dolly is here to advise the Cinniapolis community and answer any questions with grace and honesty. Here is today’s question: Q: Dear Dolly, while I certainly don’t intend to come off as a braggadocio, I want to let Cinniapolis know that I am quite a catch. I am fit, consume ALL of the necessary vitamins and supplements for peak physical appearance, responsibly budget for biannual … Continue reading Dear Dolly: Bummed Bodacious Bachelor
This morning, a joint task force consisting of HSL agents, CPD officers, and CSD officers carried out a pre-dawn raid at 9 of the 39 CFPS firehouses operating in Cinniapolis districts. Law enforcement agents were seen rushing into local firehouses and escorting out fire department personnel in handcuffs. Sources indicate no arrests have been made. Law enforcement protocol is to detain any persons on the … Continue reading CFPS Firehouses Raided
Well, if the upcoming May Town Hall hadn’t piqued the public’s interest through the leak of this Summer’s planned power outages, Walesburg’s attempt to form its own city might. The Chorus learned early this morning that local business leaders have been researching the interest and capability of Walesburg residents to transform their neighborhood into its own city, outside the jurisdiction of Cinniapolis. The movement is … Continue reading Walesburg Planning Secession from Cinniapolis?
In August of 2023, Mayor Gondola announced another measure to combat climate change. He unveiled a plan to lessen electricity usage across the city through planned blackouts in the Walesburg and Centralis residential areas. The initial schedule and locations have been leaked to the Chorus. The blackouts are planned to begin on Monday, June 3rd. The initial announcement said the blackouts would be during periods … Continue reading Rolling Blackout Schedule Released
The calm, cool Winter is almost finished. What does this mean for Spring 2024? Well, it appears the cool temperatures are here for several more weeks, with a chance for some rare frequent Spring snow. This is welcomed news with certain areas of Cinniapolis nearing drought conditions after a rather dry 2023 weather cycle. “We’re forecasting plenty of sunshine this Spring. Although folks may have … Continue reading Spring 2024 Forecast
The good thing about democracy is everyone has a chance to enter an election. The bad thing about democracy is everyone has a chance to enter an election. Time will tell if this news is good or bad. As of this morning, Annabelle Winston, aka “Painfree-B”, announced her candidacy for City Council to represent Walesburg. Incumbent Councilman Rory Peters announced his retirement earlier this year. … Continue reading Painfree-B Running for City Council
In 1924, community members established Cinniapolis Prep High School. A growing community preferred to continue educating their youth rather than plopping them into the workforce. One hundred years later, Cinni Prep is a premiere high school institution in the nation. The first day of operation, the students and faculty were tasked with choosing their mascot. Still to this day, Cinniapolitans are blessed with endless amounts … Continue reading Cinniapolis Prep Celebrates 100 years
Last Fall, news broke that Cinniapolis Fire Protection Services (CFPS) intended to privatize their trash pickup services beginning July 1, 2024 even though their current contract expires at the end of December 2025. At the time, City Council dismissed this as a negotiating tactic. As July 1 moves closer, Council members are hardening their tone towards the CFPS. Mayor Gondola’s office released a statement to … Continue reading Talks Stalled In CFPS Negotiations
Dear Spring Breakers, let Stars and Stripes Airlines whisk you away to your preferred destination this year. Our fares have never been more fair. And guess what, this Spring Break, freedom flies with S&S Air. Our limited-edition Spring Break flights will feature a meat buffet in place of first-class seating. Our planes are outfitted to serve and protect your love of meats this Spring. Join us! S&S Air can get … Continue reading Spring is in the Air
This morning, a joint-operation between the Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD), Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD), and the Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) stormed the headquarters of a Walesburg illicit meat market masquerading as a beauty salon, resulting in the death of several individuals. The sunrise raid resulted from months of undercover work by agents from each of the 3 Cinniapolis law enforcement agencies. ”It’s a proud day for … Continue reading Underground Meat Market Mayhem
Cinniapolis Chorus 