Dolly is here to advise the Cinniapolis community and answer any questions with grace and honesty. Here is today’s question: Q: Dear Dolly, I am a government insider. I know the secrets of our tyrannical leaders. I have insight into their psychotic methods and evil behavior. But, I fear revealing their secrets will put a target on my back. I don’t want to be in … Continue reading Dear Dolly: Fly on the Wall
Recently, the Chorus reported the relocation of Martha’s EyeCare and the exit of Fowler Chophouse from Cinniapolis due to rising crime and tyrannical policies set forth by Mayor Gondola’s administration. This morning, back-to-back press releases were published from the Mayor’s office. It is certainly odd for a government entity to make announcements regarding private businesses but these are odd times. Each press release is presented, … Continue reading Stay Right There!
The first-ever meat trafficker was arrested yesterday by undercover CPD officers in Walesburg. The operation was part of a months-long sting, after receiving a tip in July about planned underground meat markets conducting clandestine business in the back-alleys of Walesburg. Trent Leddo, a retired Cinni Prep teacher, was arrested selling 100 lbs. of ground beef, chicken wings, and pork tenderloins to the CPD in the … Continue reading Meat Trafficker Arrested
Last night’s City Council session ended with a unanimous passing of measures to ban meat production, sale, purchase, and consumption within the city limits of Cinniapolis, effective September 5th. The rumors have persisted for years now about Mayor Gondola setting his sights on the meat industry, in the name of saving the environment. But, few within his inner circle believed he would follow through on … Continue reading It’s Official, Meat Meets It’s Demise in Cinniapolis
Martha’s EyeCare, an optometry center operating in Cinniapolis since 2003, is leaving town after nearly 20 years. Martha Granderson, owner and founder, decided to make the move after the recent re-election of Mayor Gondola. Over the past few years, Ms. Granderson has been harassed while her office has been vandalized and robbed multiple times. “It’s a tragedy that’s unfolding in real time. Thugs roam the … Continue reading Martha’s EyeCare Packing Up and Leaving Town
Mayor Gondola is keeping police business in the family this time. Last night, the Mayor’s office released a statement confirming the appointment of Roxie Gondola as the new Police Chief of the recently reinstated Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD). Ms. Gondola is the daughter of Mayor Gondola. The press release confirmed the City Council unanimously approved Ms. Gondola. In the past, a high-profile appointment such as … Continue reading Mayor Appoints New Police Chief
Results of three government-funded studies were released to the public this week. As expected, the conclusions support Mayor Gondola’s rumored draconian agenda to turn the gasoline engines off, the lights out, and empty the meat shelves throughout Cinniapolis. Ladies and Gentlemen, Stop Those Engines (unless they’re electric)The city-wide network of noise cameras may have been the jab, but the release of a new study, “The … Continue reading Studies Released Backing Mayor’s Medieval Agenda
The Chorus has learned Justine Wellington has resigned as City Manager. Details are still scarce around the exact reason but sources indicate Ms. Wellington and Mayor Gondola butted heads frequently prior to this past February’s special election and were not on speaking terms after the election won by Mayor Gondola. While the Mayor often touted Ms. Wellington’s progressive agenda, he rarely pursued any meaningful legislation … Continue reading City Manager Wellington Stepping Down
Cinniapolitans have taken notice of new camera systems recently installed throughout Cinniapolis communities. As of this morning, #bigbrocinni was trending on CNPS Stream with various users posting videos of cameras already installed and videos of crews working under the cover of night to discreetly affix cameras to buildings, light poles, traffic lights, and even a chapel. The Chorus has confirmed with Mayor Gondola’s office that … Continue reading Noise Camera Systems Seen Throughout Cinniapolis
The Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD) will be reinstated sometime this Spring or Summer, according to law enforcement sources. Those same sources also confirm there is no plan to absolve the Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD) nor diminish the role of the Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) within the Cinniapolis law enforcement structure. While there are no firm plans to disclose yet, the Mayor is rumored to have … Continue reading Cinniapolis Police Department to be Reinstated
Cinniapolis Chorus 