Tag: preston gondola

Top Stories

Talks Stalled In CFPS Negotiations

Last Fall, news broke that Cinniapolis Fire Protection Services (CFPS) intended to privatize their trash pickup services beginning July 1, 2024 even though their current contract expires at the end of December 2025. At the time, City Council dismissed this as a negotiating tactic. As July 1 moves closer, Council members are hardening their tone towards the CFPS. Mayor Gondola’s office released a statement to … Continue reading Talks Stalled In CFPS Negotiations

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Business

New Year, New Taxes

It’s customary every year for the Cinniapolis government to introduce new taxes and repeal other taxes upon its citizenry. Most of these transactions are inconsequential and hardly make a difference to each citizen’s tax responsibility, positively or negatively. But a new 2024 tax is catching the attention of Cinniapolitans. The “Restoration of Vital Infrastructure” (RVI) tax imposed this year will be a flat 2% tax on every Cinniapolis … Continue reading New Year, New Taxes

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Crime

Mayor Intends to Aggressively Pursue Illegal Behavior in the New Year

Mayor Gondola met with the local press this morning and provided his outline for 2024. The majority of his speech was the usual political shtick – improve the economy, raise wages for the working class, make Cinniapolis the greatest city on Earth, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. However, what’s catching the attention of locals is his promise to detain and punish those that defy his recent … Continue reading Mayor Intends to Aggressively Pursue Illegal Behavior in the New Year

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Weather

Winter 2024 Forecast

After a mild Autumn, Cinniapolis can expect more of the same mildness this Winter. Above average temperatures are expected to last through January, with a possible polar vortex arriving in February. Precipitation levels are expected to hover around normal amounts for much of the Winter months. Of course, nowadays, simple news, such as this weather forecast, cannot avoid politicization. “It’s been a short time since … Continue reading Winter 2024 Forecast

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Top Stories

Outlaw Thanksgiving

“Outlaw Thanksgiving” is trending on CNPS Stream encouraging Cinniapolitans to resist the meat ban in favor of a traditional Thanksgiving turkey meal. Several posts and videos detail the nearest out-of-town grocers, meat suppliers, and back-alley merchants supplying turkeys for the upcoming holiday. In a sign of the times, CSD units have been increasing patrols near city limits to thwart turkey traffickers. CSD CEO Rhonda Dixon … Continue reading Outlaw Thanksgiving

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Business

Fire Protection Wants to Go Private

The Cinniapolis Fire Protection Services (CFPS) announced today that beginning in the Summer of 2024, their services will be privatized and will only serve those addresses which are up-to-date on their bill payments. Mayor Gondola denounced this decision and vowed to find a workable solution for all parties involved. After a record-breaking Summer of lightning strikes and fires, the CFPS leadership attempted to renegotiate its … Continue reading Fire Protection Wants to Go Private

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Business

Stay Right There!

Recently, the Chorus reported the relocation of Martha’s EyeCare and the exit of Fowler Chophouse from Cinniapolis due to rising crime and tyrannical policies set forth by Mayor Gondola’s administration. This morning, back-to-back press releases were published from the Mayor’s office. It is certainly odd for a government entity to make announcements regarding private businesses but these are odd times. Each press release is presented, … Continue reading Stay Right There!

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Crime

Meat Trafficker Arrested

The first-ever meat trafficker was arrested yesterday by undercover CPD officers in Walesburg. The operation was part of a months-long sting, after receiving a tip in July about planned underground meat markets conducting clandestine business in the back-alleys of Walesburg. Trent Leddo, a retired Cinni Prep teacher, was arrested selling 100 lbs. of ground beef, chicken wings, and pork tenderloins to the CPD in the … Continue reading Meat Trafficker Arrested

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Top Stories

It’s Official, Meat Meets It’s Demise in Cinniapolis

Last night’s City Council session ended with a unanimous passing of measures to ban meat production, sale, purchase, and consumption within the city limits of Cinniapolis, effective September 5th. The rumors have persisted for years now about Mayor Gondola setting his sights on the meat industry, in the name of saving the environment. But, few within his inner circle believed he would follow through on … Continue reading It’s Official, Meat Meets It’s Demise in Cinniapolis

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