The good thing about democracy is everyone has a chance to enter an election. The bad thing about democracy is everyone has a chance to enter an election. Time will tell if this news is good or bad. As of this morning, Annabelle Winston, aka “Painfree-B”, announced her candidacy for City Council to represent Walesburg. Incumbent Councilman Rory Peters announced his retirement earlier this year. … Continue reading Painfree-B Running for City Council
In 1924, community members established Cinniapolis Prep High School. A growing community preferred to continue educating their youth rather than plopping them into the workforce. One hundred years later, Cinni Prep is a premiere high school institution in the nation. The first day of operation, the students and faculty were tasked with choosing their mascot. Still to this day, Cinniapolitans are blessed with endless amounts … Continue reading Cinniapolis Prep Celebrates 100 years
Last Fall, news broke that Cinniapolis Fire Protection Services (CFPS) intended to privatize their trash pickup services beginning July 1, 2024 even though their current contract expires at the end of December 2025. At the time, City Council dismissed this as a negotiating tactic. As July 1 moves closer, Council members are hardening their tone towards the CFPS. Mayor Gondola’s office released a statement to … Continue reading Talks Stalled In CFPS Negotiations
Dear Spring Breakers, let Stars and Stripes Airlines whisk you away to your preferred destination this year. Our fares have never been more fair. And guess what, this Spring Break, freedom flies with S&S Air. Our limited-edition Spring Break flights will feature a meat buffet in place of first-class seating. Our planes are outfitted to serve and protect your love of meats this Spring. Join us! S&S Air can get … Continue reading Spring is in the Air
This morning, a joint-operation between the Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD), Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD), and the Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) stormed the headquarters of a Walesburg illicit meat market masquerading as a beauty salon, resulting in the death of several individuals. The sunrise raid resulted from months of undercover work by agents from each of the 3 Cinniapolis law enforcement agencies. ”It’s a proud day for … Continue reading Underground Meat Market Mayhem
It’s Groundhog Day here in Cinniapolis, which means our local representative from the groundhog community, Cinni Cindi, has made her annual appearance outside the Cinniapolis Post Office to reveal if Cinniapolis is in the crosshairs for another six-weeks of Winter or if Spring is just around the corner. Naturally, there is conflicting information coming out of the sunrise ceremony. CNPS TV reports that Cindi did in … Continue reading Cinni Cindi Spots a Shadow, Maybe
Cinniapolis healthcare facilities reported a record high number of foodborne illnesses over the past 6 months. Food poisoning diagnoses from October 2023 through January 2024 have outpaced food poisoning diagnoses from the past 4 years combined. As a reminder, these are just the reported cases. It’s safe to assume there are others that have gone unnoticed or unreported. The vast majority of these illnesses have stemmed from consumers … Continue reading Food Illness On the Rise
It’s customary every year for the Cinniapolis government to introduce new taxes and repeal other taxes upon its citizenry. Most of these transactions are inconsequential and hardly make a difference to each citizen’s tax responsibility, positively or negatively. But a new 2024 tax is catching the attention of Cinniapolitans. The “Restoration of Vital Infrastructure” (RVI) tax imposed this year will be a flat 2% tax on every Cinniapolis … Continue reading New Year, New Taxes
Mayor Gondola met with the local press this morning and provided his outline for 2024. The majority of his speech was the usual political shtick – improve the economy, raise wages for the working class, make Cinniapolis the greatest city on Earth, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. However, what’s catching the attention of locals is his promise to detain and punish those that defy his recent … Continue reading Mayor Intends to Aggressively Pursue Illegal Behavior in the New Year
After a mild Autumn, Cinniapolis can expect more of the same mildness this Winter. Above average temperatures are expected to last through January, with a possible polar vortex arriving in February. Precipitation levels are expected to hover around normal amounts for much of the Winter months. Of course, nowadays, simple news, such as this weather forecast, cannot avoid politicization. “It’s been a short time since … Continue reading Winter 2024 Forecast
Cinniapolis Chorus 