Expect the dry conditions to continue this Summer as Cinniapolis precipitation levels approach record lows. A mild Winter bled into a mild Spring which is leading to a dry, mild Summer. While this weather is preferable for Lake Sinnissippi beach-goers, it is kryptonite for local harvests. Five Families Farms recently reduced their projected fruit and vegetable crop growth to account for lack of natural precipitation … Continue reading Summer 2023 Forecast
Dolly is here to advise the Cinniapolis community and answer any questions with grace and honesty. Here is today’s question: Q: Dear Dolly, I would like to introduce myself to you as the Karaoke King. I am the self-proclaimed, undisputed King of Cinniapolis karaoke. I can sing opera, pop, folk, rock, soft rock, disco, ballads, country, R & B, you get the point. I’m fluent … Continue reading Dear Dolly: Karaoke King
By now, folks have heard of transgender, transsexual, transracial, and transable, but have you heard of transage? Transage is the term being used to describe individuals who no longer “act their age” because they feel a different age internally. It’s the latest development in a modern trend that continues to play into identity segregation politics and fuel the fire of society’s culture wars. Transage individuals … Continue reading Transage Trend Hits Cinniapolis
Mayor Gondola is keeping police business in the family this time. Last night, the Mayor’s office released a statement confirming the appointment of Roxie Gondola as the new Police Chief of the recently reinstated Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD). Ms. Gondola is the daughter of Mayor Gondola. The press release confirmed the City Council unanimously approved Ms. Gondola. In the past, a high-profile appointment such as … Continue reading Mayor Appoints New Police Chief
Activists arrived to Thick Pickins electronic department yesterday evening to allegedly shame and protest video game purchasers who were buying games with violent content. The group of 10 activists stood in the video game aisle and attempted to physically block consumers from the games they intended to purchase. Some folks simply walked away saying they’ll purchase their games at a local boutique video game shop, … Continue reading Protest Against Video Game Violence Breaks Out in Violence
Results of three government-funded studies were released to the public this week. As expected, the conclusions support Mayor Gondola’s rumored draconian agenda to turn the gasoline engines off, the lights out, and empty the meat shelves throughout Cinniapolis. Ladies and Gentlemen, Stop Those Engines (unless they’re electric)The city-wide network of noise cameras may have been the jab, but the release of a new study, “The … Continue reading Studies Released Backing Mayor’s Medieval Agenda
The Chorus has learned Justine Wellington has resigned as City Manager. Details are still scarce around the exact reason but sources indicate Ms. Wellington and Mayor Gondola butted heads frequently prior to this past February’s special election and were not on speaking terms after the election won by Mayor Gondola. While the Mayor often touted Ms. Wellington’s progressive agenda, he rarely pursued any meaningful legislation … Continue reading City Manager Wellington Stepping Down
The Amerovich Organization, the leading internet provider in Cinniapolis, announced plans this morning to unveil new subscription plans for their internet service. The days of one price for an all encompassing internet service appear to be numbered. Ivan Amerovich spoke to the assembled media this morning after the news was announced, “We have listened to the feedback of our consumers. The running theme is that … Continue reading Internet Service Expanding Subscription Plans
Cinniapolis Prep sits atop the preseason high school baseball rankings. But that ranking could be in jeopardy with this morning’s news that Senior Captain, Barry Linsington, will skip his Senior baseball season to begin training for the upcoming college football season. Mr. Linsington committed to a full scholarship a few weeks ago to play football at Cinniapolis State. However, sources familiar with his NIL (Name, … Continue reading Linsington to Forego Senior Baseball Season
Cinniapolitans have taken notice of new camera systems recently installed throughout Cinniapolis communities. As of this morning, #bigbrocinni was trending on CNPS Stream with various users posting videos of cameras already installed and videos of crews working under the cover of night to discreetly affix cameras to buildings, light poles, traffic lights, and even a chapel. The Chorus has confirmed with Mayor Gondola’s office that … Continue reading Noise Camera Systems Seen Throughout Cinniapolis
Cinniapolis Chorus 