The Dragg farm cattle herd was bombed last night in an apparent escalation of violence surrounding Cinniapolis’s climate agenda. Sources allege a group of intruders infiltrated the Dragg farm property, located within the Five Families Farms compound, and affixed explosives to as many cows as possible before being chased off by private security. As the private security team was returning to the cattle pen to … Continue reading Bovines Bombed
St. Boris Church will be holding its fourth annual Autumn Auction to help raise funds for the parish and elementary school. Last year, the proceeds from the auction were used to purchase new toilets for the school and church. Money well-spent if nature calls one while in the Lord’s house. There were a wide range of items and experiences to bid on last year, including … Continue reading St. Boris Holding Autumn Auction
Recently, y’all (Cinniapolis Chorus) published a letter from a criminal enterprise calling themselves Private Citizens. How irresponsible, how short-sighted, how typical of today’s mainline media injecting fake news into the veins of Cinniapolitans everywhere. How dare you hook the public on this drug by shining a spotlight on their nefarious actions. All I heard about the past few days is this rogue group of misfits … Continue reading Opinion on Private Citizens Media Treatment
Arn Murphy was out for an evening bike ride when he claims to have been attacked by a vicious creature. Mr. Murphy suffered minor cuts and bruises but escaped without a major injury. The incident occurred on the bike path located in the Reunion forest preserve. Although as of this writing there were no witnesses or video footage to corroborate Mr. Murphy’s allegations, he insists … Continue reading Mysterious Creature Injures Arn Murphy
In a manifesto sent to the Chorus, a self-proclaimed activist group calling itself Private Citizens has claimed responsibility for burning down the Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre after last month’s Freedom Forever Rally. The group also claimed to be behind the break-in at the Murphy Waste Management trash processing center. The Chorus received a neatly penned letter addressed to Cinniapolitans warning them of continued consequences for … Continue reading Activist Group Claims Responsibility for Recent Disturbances
Brucie Murphy spent the first two weeks of his high school football career at Cinni Prep as the starting quarterback on the Freshman team. After two dominant performances leading the Freshman Catfish to victory, he was unexpectedly given a chance to do the same for the winless Varsity team. Folks around town have been buzzing about Murphy’s skills since he was a pee wee MVP. … Continue reading Freshman QB leads Catfish to Victory
No disrespect to Summer, but Fall is just about here. The tell-tale signs have begun to pop up. Halloween end-caps at Thick Pickins, the hint of pumpkin spice on your boss’s coffee breath, and the buzz of uninvited bees swarming outdoor diners. Over the years, Cinniapolis has offered numerous Fall activities to bring families together outdoors before families are forced indoors for the Winter. Here … Continue reading Incoming: Fall Activities
FOR SALE: 12 lb. Beef Brisket, $35 per pound. Organic, grass-fed beef that melts in your mouth. Brisket is a delicate treat that cooks up swell on your BBQ or Smoker. It can even be cooked in the oven. Get this brisket before the Gondolas outlaw all the beef and prices surge higher. Don’t try Thick Pickins or Dragg’s, they’re out of stock, maybe forever. … Continue reading Meat For Sale
The CNPS-TV meteorology team presents good news for the Autumn 2022 forecast, if you like cooler temps and snowfall in the October and Novembers months. Unfortunately for those preferring Summer temps that last well into November, this Fall may resemble Winter more than Summer. The CNPS-TV Storm Squad predicts snow arriving in mid-October. While snow this time of year is quickly here then gone, lead … Continue reading Autumn 2022 Forecast
Recently, the Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD) and Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) joint task force notably arrested Annabelle Winston, aka Painfree-B, and several of her associates on suspicions of theft, drug trafficking, and drug distribution. This task force was the first joint mission between the newly formed CSD and the new privately contracted HSL. The success of this operation was touted as a triumph of public … Continue reading Painfree-B: Community Folk Hero or Drug-Peddling Menace?
Cinniapolis Chorus 