Tag: Top Stories

Top Stories

Rapid Snowmelt Floods Areas of Cinniapolis

Just a couple days after a historic snowstorm blanketed Cinniapolis in nearly two feet of snow, a swift increase in temperatures has caused flooding in sections of the Walesburg and Reunion neighborhoods. Residents are reporting flooding in their basements, backyards, and side streets, in addition to reports of businesses being looted. Many residents are claiming the city drainage system is failing because of the unpleasant … Continue reading Rapid Snowmelt Floods Areas of Cinniapolis

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Murphy Garbage Trucks Pulling Double Duty

While the snow has finally stopped accumulating, the snow clean up is just getting started. The city’s electric snow plow fleet has been pulled from the streets following reports the city instructed Grover Electric to draw power from the Walesburg grid to the Public Works Department in Centralis to maintain frequent charging for the electric snow plows. Power was quickly restored to Walesburg after the … Continue reading Murphy Garbage Trucks Pulling Double Duty

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Power Outages Reported in Walesburg

Grover Electric reports there are nearly 50,000 customers in Walesburg without power as of this morning. Grover Electric President Jade Gondola said, “Our crews are currently investigating the outage and will be working non-stop to restore electricity as soon as possible. We will provide updates as new information becomes available.” The current outages are a mystery at the moment. The blizzard advisory has been cancelled. … Continue reading Power Outages Reported in Walesburg

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Electric Snow Plows, More Like Electric No Plows

Mayor Gondola’s highly touted electric snow plows are failing their first major test. Several plow operators were told to abandon their vehicles when their truck’s battery unexpectedly ran out of power. One driver, who asked to remain anonymous, said, “Yeah, it was after about 15 minutes of driving, all the sudden, the low battery alert chimed. I was able to make it back to the … Continue reading Electric Snow Plows, More Like Electric No Plows

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Cinniapolis Leaders Push Out Electric Snow Plows

Surrounded by members of the City Council, executives from Grover Electric, and supportive spectators, Mayor Gondola ceremoniously “pushed out” the first electric snow plow into duty to begin clearing the streets of snow as flurries fell earlier this morning. The mayor took a cue from the traditional “push-in” ceremony used by fire departments when they add a new truck to their fleet. “This is an … Continue reading Cinniapolis Leaders Push Out Electric Snow Plows

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Mayor Gondola Sighting at Bluerock Airport

The missing mayor has been located back in Cinniapolis. Mayor Gondola was seen exiting his private jet and swiftly being driven away by a fleet of black HSL SUVs. This marks the first time the mayor has been seen in public since early September. Mayor Gondola is notoriously bashful around the press but never before has he been unavailable for comment for several weeks. The … Continue reading Mayor Gondola Sighting at Bluerock Airport

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Mystery Solved, Sadly

The mysterious creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their pet animals has been exterminated. The Holy Sheriff Legion confirmed there was a fatal confrontation between the beast and a group of volunteers early this morning. However, sources confirmed this was no beast but a human. A relative arrived to CSD headquarters to identify the remains as Russ Wahl, a Cinniapolis citizen that raised eyebrows with his publicized, … Continue reading Mystery Solved, Sadly

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“Private Citizens” Expose Gondola Alleged Climate Hypocrisy

Last night, the activist group calling themselves Private Citizens uploaded a short video to CNPS Stream that has garnered hundreds of thousands of views overnight into this morning. The video titled “Warning: Hypocrite!!!” was edited showing clips from previous Mayor Gondola appearances explaining the various points of his proposed climate agenda. Those quotes are juxtaposed with amateur footage from the Private Citizens themselves, in what … Continue reading “Private Citizens” Expose Gondola Alleged Climate Hypocrisy

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Bovines Bombed

The Dragg farm cattle herd was bombed last night in an apparent escalation of violence surrounding Cinniapolis’s climate agenda. Sources allege a group of intruders infiltrated the Dragg farm property, located within the Five Families Farms compound, and affixed explosives to as many cows as possible before being chased off by private security. As the private security team was returning to the cattle pen to … Continue reading Bovines Bombed

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Activist Group Claims Responsibility for Recent Disturbances

In a manifesto sent to the Chorus, a self-proclaimed activist group calling itself Private Citizens has claimed responsibility for burning down the Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre after last month’s Freedom Forever Rally. The group also claimed to be behind the break-in at the Murphy Waste Management trash processing center. The Chorus received a neatly penned letter addressed to Cinniapolitans warning them of continued consequences for … Continue reading Activist Group Claims Responsibility for Recent Disturbances

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis