Two weeks ago, Russ Wahl was shot to death by ordinary citizens organized and chaperoned by Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) agents. Read that sentence again. A Cinniapolitan was shot to death by fellow Cinniapolitans. Where is the outrage? It seems as if police brutality is becoming mainstream again. Not only is it mainstream, but it is being outsourced to regular, everyday people. Is this the … Continue reading Opinion on Cinniapolis Law Enforcement
The mysterious creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their pet animals has been exterminated. The Holy Sheriff Legion confirmed there was a fatal confrontation between the beast and a group of volunteers early this morning. However, sources confirmed this was no beast but a human. A relative arrived to CSD headquarters to identify the remains as Russ Wahl, a Cinniapolis citizen that raised eyebrows with his publicized, … Continue reading Mystery Solved, Sadly
The Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) is organizing a hunting party to track, trap, or kill the mystery creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their dogs. There have been multiple reported incidents but the HSL suspects there have been several unreported incidents due to numerous animal cremation requests to Huron Funeral Home. Any volunteers must provide their own supplies. The HSL will not provide arms, ammo, or trapping … Continue reading Calling All Skilled Men, Women, and Teenagers
The CSD has issued an alert to all dog owners after a recent spate of dog thefts from Cinniapolis households. Several households have reported a large-human sized animal has been spotted in their backyards while their dog is out. This news comes on the heels of Arn Murphy recently alleging he was mauled by an unknown creature while out for a bike ride. While there … Continue reading Mysterious Creature Snatching Dogs
Arn Murphy was out for an evening bike ride when he claims to have been attacked by a vicious creature. Mr. Murphy suffered minor cuts and bruises but escaped without a major injury. The incident occurred on the bike path located in the Reunion forest preserve. Although as of this writing there were no witnesses or video footage to corroborate Mr. Murphy’s allegations, he insists … Continue reading Mysterious Creature Injures Arn Murphy
Cinniapolis Chorus 