Tag: holy sheriff legion

Crime

Cinniapolis Police Department to be Reinstated

The Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD) will be reinstated sometime this Spring or Summer, according to law enforcement sources. Those same sources also confirm there is no plan to absolve the Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD) nor diminish the role of the Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) within the Cinniapolis law enforcement structure. While there are no firm plans to disclose yet, the Mayor is rumored to have … Continue reading Cinniapolis Police Department to be Reinstated

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Crime

Criminals Target Mayoral Candidates

An organized group of vandals damaged several properties around Cinniapolis last night, most notably the properties of 3 mayoral candidates for the upcoming special election. CSD sources confirmed to the Chorus that windows were smashed at all 3 properties, while minimal damages were found on the interiors of each location. According to city surveillance footage, Penney’s Fish Market was targeted first and incurred heavy damages. … Continue reading Criminals Target Mayoral Candidates

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Crime

Minor Disturbance Ends St. Boris Toy Drive Early

The Annual St. Boris Church toy drive ended early after a surly guest was forcibly removed by off-duty HSL agents after mistaking the event for a Toys-for-Tots drive. Event coordinators told the Chorus that the disheveled man smelled of booze, cigarettes, and body odor. He arrived with a toy train to donate and demanded a meal in exchange for the donation. When he was informed … Continue reading Minor Disturbance Ends St. Boris Toy Drive Early

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Opinion

Opinion on Cinniapolis Law Enforcement

Two weeks ago, Russ Wahl was shot to death by ordinary citizens organized and chaperoned by Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) agents. Read that sentence again. A Cinniapolitan was shot to death by fellow Cinniapolitans. Where is the outrage? It seems as if police brutality is becoming mainstream again. Not only is it mainstream, but it is being outsourced to regular, everyday people. Is this the … Continue reading Opinion on Cinniapolis Law Enforcement

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Top Stories

Mystery Solved, Sadly

The mysterious creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their pet animals has been exterminated. The Holy Sheriff Legion confirmed there was a fatal confrontation between the beast and a group of volunteers early this morning. However, sources confirmed this was no beast but a human. A relative arrived to CSD headquarters to identify the remains as Russ Wahl, a Cinniapolis citizen that raised eyebrows with his publicized, … Continue reading Mystery Solved, Sadly

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Advertisements

Calling All Skilled Men, Women, and Teenagers

The Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) is organizing a hunting party to track, trap, or kill the mystery creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their dogs. There have been multiple reported incidents but the HSL suspects there have been several unreported incidents due to numerous animal cremation requests to Huron Funeral Home. Any volunteers must provide their own supplies. The HSL will not provide arms, ammo, or trapping … Continue reading Calling All Skilled Men, Women, and Teenagers

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Top Stories

Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

The activist group calling themselves Private Citizens denounced the recent violence carried out against the Dragg farm cattle at the Five Families Farms. The Chorus received correspondence matching the forensics from this group’s previous communications to the Chorus staff. The letter is printed below, in full and unedited: Dearest Cinniapolitans,We only wish to address the cowards that tried to frame us for the unholy devastation … Continue reading Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Entertainment

St. Boris Holding Autumn Auction

St. Boris Church will be holding its fourth annual Autumn Auction to help raise funds for the parish and elementary school. Last year, the proceeds from the auction were used to purchase new toilets for the school and church. Money well-spent if nature calls one while in the Lord’s house. There were a wide range of items and experiences to bid on last year, including … Continue reading St. Boris Holding Autumn Auction

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Opinion

Opinion on Private Citizens Media Treatment

Recently, y’all (Cinniapolis Chorus) published a letter from a criminal enterprise calling themselves Private Citizens. How irresponsible, how short-sighted, how typical of today’s mainline media injecting fake news into the veins of Cinniapolitans everywhere. How dare you hook the public on this drug by shining a spotlight on their nefarious actions. All I heard about the past few days is this rogue group of misfits … Continue reading Opinion on Private Citizens Media Treatment

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
Special Report

Painfree-B: Community Folk Hero or Drug-Peddling Menace?

Recently, the Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD) and Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) joint task force notably arrested Annabelle Winston, aka Painfree-B, and several of her associates on suspicions of theft, drug trafficking, and drug distribution. This task force was the first joint mission between the newly formed CSD and the new privately contracted HSL. The success of this operation was touted as a triumph of public … Continue reading Painfree-B: Community Folk Hero or Drug-Peddling Menace?

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis