Tag: gerard gonzalez

Top Stories

After Successful Secession, Walesburg Mayoral Race Takes Shape

On October 2nd, Walesburg voted to secede from Cinniapolis. On October 24th, the Cinniapolis City Council officially approved the secession, which will be effective February 1st, 2025. One of the first measures of the independent township will be electing their Mayor. Just one candidate has officially declared, but Cinniapolis Chorus sources agree that their will likely be 3 additional potential candidates. Here is our breakdown … Continue reading After Successful Secession, Walesburg Mayoral Race Takes Shape

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Events

May Town Hall Postponed

The Cinniapolis City Council has announced the May Town Hall will be postponed from May 9th to May 29th. City Manager, Buck Gondola, advised that the Government will need more time to engage the public in thoughtful discussions surrounding flash point topics such as the Summer planned power outages, the status of CFPS negotiations, and the attempted secession of Walesburg. Cinniapolitans in every corner of … Continue reading May Town Hall Postponed

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Crime

Mayor Intends to Aggressively Pursue Illegal Behavior in the New Year

Mayor Gondola met with the local press this morning and provided his outline for 2024. The majority of his speech was the usual political shtick – improve the economy, raise wages for the working class, make Cinniapolis the greatest city on Earth, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. However, what’s catching the attention of locals is his promise to detain and punish those that defy his recent … Continue reading Mayor Intends to Aggressively Pursue Illegal Behavior in the New Year

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Crime

Cannibalism On the Rise

The Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD) says it has referred several open investigations into cannibalism crimes to the Cinniapolis Police Department (CPD) and Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL). The CSD told the Chorus they simply don’t have the resources or manpower to fully investigate serious crimes, such as cannibalism. According to their weekly reporting, CSD reported cannibalism crimes have spiked exponentially since the onset of the meat … Continue reading Cannibalism On the Rise

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Special Report

Residential Rolling Blackouts Approved

Mayor Gondola’s administration approved legislation for scheduled rolling residential blackouts beginning in the Summer of 2024. Stacked on top of the pending meat ban, the scheduled blackouts are another salvo from this administration in its fight against climate change. The administration will partner with Grover Electric, the sole electricity provider in Cinniapolis, to schedule these blackouts during times of minimum electricity usage. President of Grover … Continue reading Residential Rolling Blackouts Approved

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Sports

Cinni Prep Football Misses Postseason Again

Head Coach Benny Marmalade summed up this season succinctly, “When we were good, we were great. When we were bad, we were awful,” he said. Leave it to classic, non-specific coachspeak to put a stamp on another promising yet ultimately disappointing season for the Catfish. The team missed out on the postseason for the sixth straight season and local supporters are starting to loudly question … Continue reading Cinni Prep Football Misses Postseason Again

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Sports

Freshman QB leads Catfish to Victory

Brucie Murphy spent the first two weeks of his high school football career at Cinni Prep as the starting quarterback on the Freshman team. After two dominant performances leading the Freshman Catfish to victory, he was unexpectedly given a chance to do the same for the winless Varsity team. Folks around town have been buzzing about Murphy’s skills since he was a pee wee MVP. … Continue reading Freshman QB leads Catfish to Victory

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Special Report

Cinniapolis Safety Gets a Helping Hand

The Cinniapolis Safety Department task force recently closed an investigation into the local narcotics trade that resulted in 26 indictments and the arrest of the alleged queenpin of the illicit activities, Annabelle Winston. Known to her peers and customers as “Painfree-B”, Ms. Winston is the alleged leader of the local narcotics distribution network. This piece of news is extraordinary on its own. The CSD has … Continue reading Cinniapolis Safety Gets a Helping Hand

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