Mayor Intends to Aggressively Pursue Illegal Behavior in the New Year

Mayor Gondola met with the local press this morning and provided his outline for 2024. The majority of his speech was the usual political shtick – improve the economy, raise wages for the working class, make Cinniapolis the greatest city on Earth, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. However, what’s catching the attention of locals is his promise to detain and punish those that defy his recent … Continue reading Mayor Intends to Aggressively Pursue Illegal Behavior in the New Year

Mayoral Candidate Profile: Waldo Penney

Waldo Penney is a first time Mayoral candidate. Although, he unsuccessfully ran for City Council in 2004 and 2012. Mr. Penney is the owner of Penney’s Fish Market. While unsuccessful on the ballot, Mr. Penney is the premiere seafood provider for Cinniapolis and top-rated guest host on 510 AM radio. His opinions are controversial to some, but accepted as fact by others. Mr. Penney is … Continue reading Mayoral Candidate Profile: Waldo Penney

Opinion on Private Citizens Media Treatment

Recently, y’all (Cinniapolis Chorus) published a letter from a criminal enterprise calling themselves Private Citizens. How irresponsible, how short-sighted, how typical of today’s mainline media injecting fake news into the veins of Cinniapolitans everywhere. How dare you hook the public on this drug by shining a spotlight on their nefarious actions. All I heard about the past few days is this rogue group of misfits … Continue reading Opinion on Private Citizens Media Treatment

Activist Group Claims Responsibility for Recent Disturbances

In a manifesto sent to the Chorus, a self-proclaimed activist group calling itself Private Citizens has claimed responsibility for burning down the Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre after last month’s Freedom Forever Rally. The group also claimed to be behind the break-in at the Murphy Waste Management trash processing center. The Chorus received a neatly penned letter addressed to Cinniapolitans warning them of continued consequences for … Continue reading Activist Group Claims Responsibility for Recent Disturbances

City Manager Wellington Condemns Events Following Rally

Delivering the strongest rebuke yet from Mayor Gondola’s administration, City Manager Justine Wellington spoke out against the violence following the recent Freedom Forever Rally. Ms. Wellington condemned the actions of rioters and praised law enforcement, promising severe consequences for all those that destroyed property and assaulted law enforcement agents. “Cinniapolis will not tolerate the actions that followed the Freedom Forever Rally. It is unacceptable for … Continue reading City Manager Wellington Condemns Events Following Rally

Cinniapolis Ballet Cancelled

In the wake of recent turmoil and the burning down of the Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre, Cinniapolis Ballet Director, Lucy Drysdale addressed their fans in a written statement to the press: The tragic events that transpired after the Freedom Forever Rally culminating with the Performing Arts Theatre burning to the ground have no place in Cinniapolis. I, along with the Cinniapolis Ballet, condemn the agitators … Continue reading Cinniapolis Ballet Cancelled

Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre Burned Down Following Freedom Forever Rally

What was planned to be a peaceful demonstration turned tragic last night when demonstrators gave way to rioters burning down the historic Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre at The Great Eastern Hotel. The Freedom Forever Rally, organized and funded by Chess Murphy, took place in the The Great Eastern Hotel courtyard in front of the Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre. Dozens of attendees gathered near the stage … Continue reading Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre Burned Down Following Freedom Forever Rally

Freedom Forever

Rally with your fellow PATRIOTS to take back Cinniapolis from the stubby sticky fingers of the tyrant boyking Mayor Gondola. After the boyking’s royal decree yesterday, it’s clear that Mayor Gondola wants to control your electricity and seize your automobiles. The only thing that can stop the tyrant boyking is the collective will of honorable, dutiful Cinniapolis residents. Please meet us at The Great Eastern … Continue reading Freedom Forever