Tag: five families farms

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It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas…

No, it’s not! Summer is in full swing! But Thick Pickins is here to cool off Cinniapolitans with limited edition Christmas Ornaments and refreshing savings on all Christmas outdoor decorations today through July 25th!!! Gift yourself savings today, then hide your yuletide pride until December. Or don’t! Show your Christmas Spirit all year long, at an incredible value to boot!! Clear String Lights LED 100 … Continue reading It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas…

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Top Stories

Mayor of Walesburg Elected

Walesburgians elected Ms. Annabelle Winston as their first Mayor to form the first ever government of Walesburg. Ms. Winston secured 78% of the vote holding off challenger Gerard Gonzalez. “Today is a proud day for Walesburg. We are an independent entity and no longer oppressed by the corporate and political elites from the northeast,” said Ms. Winston, referring to Cinniapolis. “My team is already working … Continue reading Mayor of Walesburg Elected

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Weather

Autumn 2024 Forecast

The crisp air of Fall greeted Cinniapolitans early this year with a rare cold snap to close out August. The high temperatures hovering in the mid-50s easily broke records from past cold fronts during Cinniapolis summers. Is this is a sign of a chilly Autumn? CNPS-TV Lead Meteorologist, Fran Dimple, says, “Not exactly.” Ms. Dimple continued, “Cinniapolis is heading for a pretty regular Fall season. … Continue reading Autumn 2024 Forecast

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Special Report

Walesburg Planning Secession from Cinniapolis?

Well, if the upcoming May Town Hall hadn’t piqued the public’s interest through the leak of this Summer’s planned power outages, Walesburg’s attempt to form its own city might. The Chorus learned early this morning that local business leaders have been researching the interest and capability of Walesburg residents to transform their neighborhood into its own city, outside the jurisdiction of Cinniapolis. The movement is … Continue reading Walesburg Planning Secession from Cinniapolis?

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Weather

Summer 2023 Forecast

Expect the dry conditions to continue this Summer as Cinniapolis precipitation levels approach record lows. A mild Winter bled into a mild Spring which is leading to a dry, mild Summer. While this weather is preferable for Lake Sinnissippi beach-goers, it is kryptonite for local harvests. Five Families Farms recently reduced their projected fruit and vegetable crop growth to account for lack of natural precipitation … Continue reading Summer 2023 Forecast

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Top Stories

Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

The activist group calling themselves Private Citizens denounced the recent violence carried out against the Dragg farm cattle at the Five Families Farms. The Chorus received correspondence matching the forensics from this group’s previous communications to the Chorus staff. The letter is printed below, in full and unedited: Dearest Cinniapolitans,We only wish to address the cowards that tried to frame us for the unholy devastation … Continue reading Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

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Top Stories

Bovines Bombed

The Dragg farm cattle herd was bombed last night in an apparent escalation of violence surrounding Cinniapolis’s climate agenda. Sources allege a group of intruders infiltrated the Dragg farm property, located within the Five Families Farms compound, and affixed explosives to as many cows as possible before being chased off by private security. As the private security team was returning to the cattle pen to … Continue reading Bovines Bombed

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Events

Incoming: Fall Activities

No disrespect to Summer, but Fall is just about here. The tell-tale signs have begun to pop up. Halloween end-caps at Thick Pickins, the hint of pumpkin spice on your boss’s coffee breath, and the buzz of uninvited bees swarming outdoor diners. Over the years, Cinniapolis has offered numerous Fall activities to bring families together outdoors before families are forced indoors for the Winter. Here … Continue reading Incoming: Fall Activities

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