The mysterious creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their pet animals has been exterminated. The Holy Sheriff Legion confirmed there was a fatal confrontation between the beast and a group of volunteers early this morning. However, sources confirmed this was no beast but a human. A relative arrived to CSD headquarters to identify the remains as Russ Wahl, a Cinniapolis citizen that raised eyebrows with his publicized, … Continue reading Mystery Solved, Sadly
The activist group calling themselves Private Citizens denounced the recent violence carried out against the Dragg farm cattle at the Five Families Farms. The Chorus received correspondence matching the forensics from this group’s previous communications to the Chorus staff. The letter is printed below, in full and unedited: Dearest Cinniapolitans,We only wish to address the cowards that tried to frame us for the unholy devastation … Continue reading Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound
The CSD has issued an alert to all dog owners after a recent spate of dog thefts from Cinniapolis households. Several households have reported a large-human sized animal has been spotted in their backyards while their dog is out. This news comes on the heels of Arn Murphy recently alleging he was mauled by an unknown creature while out for a bike ride. While there … Continue reading Mysterious Creature Snatching Dogs
In light of the recent turbulence in Cinniapolis, Chess Murphy gave an exclusive interview to the Cinniapolis Chorus Investigative Team (CCIT). As the Chairman of both Murphy Waste Management and Murphy Construction, Mr. Murphy believes new leadership is needed immediately to usher Cinniapolis into brighter days. He sat down with our team at Fowler Chophouse, located on the ground floor of The Great Eastern Hotel. … Continue reading Chess Murphy Stumps for Special Election
The Dragg farm cattle herd was bombed last night in an apparent escalation of violence surrounding Cinniapolis’s climate agenda. Sources allege a group of intruders infiltrated the Dragg farm property, located within the Five Families Farms compound, and affixed explosives to as many cows as possible before being chased off by private security. As the private security team was returning to the cattle pen to … Continue reading Bovines Bombed
Recently, y’all (Cinniapolis Chorus) published a letter from a criminal enterprise calling themselves Private Citizens. How irresponsible, how short-sighted, how typical of today’s mainline media injecting fake news into the veins of Cinniapolitans everywhere. How dare you hook the public on this drug by shining a spotlight on their nefarious actions. All I heard about the past few days is this rogue group of misfits … Continue reading Opinion on Private Citizens Media Treatment
Recently, the Cinniapolis Safety Department (CSD) and Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) joint task force notably arrested Annabelle Winston, aka Painfree-B, and several of her associates on suspicions of theft, drug trafficking, and drug distribution. This task force was the first joint mission between the newly formed CSD and the new privately contracted HSL. The success of this operation was touted as a triumph of public … Continue reading Painfree-B: Community Folk Hero or Drug-Peddling Menace?
The red meat panic reached local butcher Gregory Dragg’s store last night. Thieves broke in through the backdoor and made off with dozens of cuts of red meat. No cash or electronics were taken, only the red meat. The thieves stole everything from prime cuts to select cuts of beef, pork, lamb, and venison. However, the white meats were left untouched. The outspoken owner, Mr. … Continue reading Dragg Meat and Dairy Ransacked
Delivering the strongest rebuke yet from Mayor Gondola’s administration, City Manager Justine Wellington spoke out against the violence following the recent Freedom Forever Rally. Ms. Wellington condemned the actions of rioters and praised law enforcement, promising severe consequences for all those that destroyed property and assaulted law enforcement agents. “Cinniapolis will not tolerate the actions that followed the Freedom Forever Rally. It is unacceptable for … Continue reading City Manager Wellington Condemns Events Following Rally
In the wake of recent turmoil and the burning down of the Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre, Cinniapolis Ballet Director, Lucy Drysdale addressed their fans in a written statement to the press: The tragic events that transpired after the Freedom Forever Rally culminating with the Performing Arts Theatre burning to the ground have no place in Cinniapolis. I, along with the Cinniapolis Ballet, condemn the agitators … Continue reading Cinniapolis Ballet Cancelled
Cinniapolis Chorus 