Category: Top Stories

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Cinniapolis Leaders Push Out Electric Snow Plows

Surrounded by members of the City Council, executives from Grover Electric, and supportive spectators, Mayor Gondola ceremoniously “pushed out” the first electric snow plow into duty to begin clearing the streets of snow as flurries fell earlier this morning. The mayor took a cue from the traditional “push-in” ceremony used by fire departments when they add a new truck to their fleet. “This is an … Continue reading Cinniapolis Leaders Push Out Electric Snow Plows

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Mayor Gondola Sighting at Bluerock Airport

The missing mayor has been located back in Cinniapolis. Mayor Gondola was seen exiting his private jet and swiftly being driven away by a fleet of black HSL SUVs. This marks the first time the mayor has been seen in public since early September. Mayor Gondola is notoriously bashful around the press but never before has he been unavailable for comment for several weeks. The … Continue reading Mayor Gondola Sighting at Bluerock Airport

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Mystery Solved, Sadly

The mysterious creature terrorizing Cinniapolitans and their pet animals has been exterminated. The Holy Sheriff Legion confirmed there was a fatal confrontation between the beast and a group of volunteers early this morning. However, sources confirmed this was no beast but a human. A relative arrived to CSD headquarters to identify the remains as Russ Wahl, a Cinniapolis citizen that raised eyebrows with his publicized, … Continue reading Mystery Solved, Sadly

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“Private Citizens” Expose Gondola Alleged Climate Hypocrisy

Last night, the activist group calling themselves Private Citizens uploaded a short video to CNPS Stream that has garnered hundreds of thousands of views overnight into this morning. The video titled “Warning: Hypocrite!!!” was edited showing clips from previous Mayor Gondola appearances explaining the various points of his proposed climate agenda. Those quotes are juxtaposed with amateur footage from the Private Citizens themselves, in what … Continue reading “Private Citizens” Expose Gondola Alleged Climate Hypocrisy

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

The activist group calling themselves Private Citizens denounced the recent violence carried out against the Dragg farm cattle at the Five Families Farms. The Chorus received correspondence matching the forensics from this group’s previous communications to the Chorus staff. The letter is printed below, in full and unedited: Dearest Cinniapolitans,We only wish to address the cowards that tried to frame us for the unholy devastation … Continue reading Activist Group Denounces Attack on Dragg Compound

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Bovines Bombed

The Dragg farm cattle herd was bombed last night in an apparent escalation of violence surrounding Cinniapolis’s climate agenda. Sources allege a group of intruders infiltrated the Dragg farm property, located within the Five Families Farms compound, and affixed explosives to as many cows as possible before being chased off by private security. As the private security team was returning to the cattle pen to … Continue reading Bovines Bombed

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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Activist Group Claims Responsibility for Recent Disturbances

In a manifesto sent to the Chorus, a self-proclaimed activist group calling itself Private Citizens has claimed responsibility for burning down the Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre after last month’s Freedom Forever Rally. The group also claimed to be behind the break-in at the Murphy Waste Management trash processing center. The Chorus received a neatly penned letter addressed to Cinniapolitans warning them of continued consequences for … Continue reading Activist Group Claims Responsibility for Recent Disturbances

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City Manager Wellington Condemns Events Following Rally

Delivering the strongest rebuke yet from Mayor Gondola’s administration, City Manager Justine Wellington spoke out against the violence following the recent Freedom Forever Rally. Ms. Wellington condemned the actions of rioters and praised law enforcement, promising severe consequences for all those that destroyed property and assaulted law enforcement agents. “Cinniapolis will not tolerate the actions that followed the Freedom Forever Rally. It is unacceptable for … Continue reading City Manager Wellington Condemns Events Following Rally

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Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre Burned Down Following Freedom Forever Rally

What was planned to be a peaceful demonstration turned tragic last night when demonstrators gave way to rioters burning down the historic Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre at The Great Eastern Hotel. The Freedom Forever Rally, organized and funded by Chess Murphy, took place in the The Great Eastern Hotel courtyard in front of the Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre. Dozens of attendees gathered near the stage … Continue reading Cinniapolis Performing Arts Theatre Burned Down Following Freedom Forever Rally

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis
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State of the City 2022

Mayor Gondola, wearing a navy blue pinstriped suit with a white shirt and red tie, addressed Cinniapolis City Council and Cinniapolis residents for nearly an hour to share the state of Cinniapolis. Covering a wide range of topics, Mayor Gondola affirmed the state of Cinniapolis is strong. However, he noted areas that could use strengthening. Mayor Gondola spent the first half of his address touting … Continue reading State of the City 2022

Unknown's avatarCinniapolis