LOST: Phone. Heaven help me (LOL), I’ve lost my phone. The last place I remember seeing it is in my hand. I believe I placed it down on a table during the Cinni Tech Expo while spreading the Gospel with friends. But, I can’t be sure because I was filled with the Holy Spirit, or wine (LOL). I did check with the Expo’s facilities team … Continue reading Lost Phone
Rally with your fellow PATRIOTS to take back Cinniapolis from the stubby sticky fingers of the tyrant boyking Mayor Gondola. After the boyking’s royal decree yesterday, it’s clear that Mayor Gondola wants to control your electricity and seize your automobiles. The only thing that can stop the tyrant boyking is the collective will of honorable, dutiful Cinniapolis residents. Please meet us at The Great Eastern … Continue reading Freedom Forever
Mayor Gondola, wearing a navy blue pinstriped suit with a white shirt and red tie, addressed Cinniapolis City Council and Cinniapolis residents for nearly an hour to share the state of Cinniapolis. Covering a wide range of topics, Mayor Gondola affirmed the state of Cinniapolis is strong. However, he noted areas that could use strengthening. Mayor Gondola spent the first half of his address touting … Continue reading State of the City 2022
A new trend is hitting Cinniapolis operating rooms all in the name of mental health. Recently, surgeons have seen an uptick in transracial surgeries. For the uninitiated, transracial people identify as different races than their biological race. A growing facet of this movement is undergoing cosmetic procedures to adjust one’s appearance to more closely resemble the race with which one identifies. The reasoning is attributed … Continue reading Transracial Surgeries Increasing
Trent Leddo was questioned by the Cinniapolis Safety Department last night at his Reunion home without incident. A CSD source said Mr. Leddo was cooperative but would not answer certain questions without a lawyer. He is being accused of operating a forced labor program by his former students. Mr. Leddo taught Furniture Design at Cinni Prep for 46 years before retiring in 2020. Under his … Continue reading Former Cinni Prep Teacher Accused of Forced Labor
The Cinniapolis Summer Ballet Showcase lifted the curtain for the first time in two years this past Saturday. The sell-out crowd was ushered into their seats as the lights dimmed for showtime. Ms. Lucy Drysdale, Director of the Cinniapolis Ballet, welcomed the attendees and expressed her gratitude for the impressive turnout. From there, the music started and the dancers took over the stage. Hired is … Continue reading Review: Hired
Dolly is here to advise the Cinniapolis community and answer any questions with grace and honesty. Here is today’s question: Q: Dear Dolly, my wife of 13 years and I recently undertook extensive home renovations. We planned the renovations room by room. First, we updated our bedroom without issue. Next, we remodeled each bathroom with a fresh coat of paint, new toilets, new tubs, new … Continue reading Dear Dolly: Reasonable Remodeler
Don’t miss out on Thick Pickins Annual Back to School Save-a-thon. Our in-house barber will be giving away free haircuts with each purchase of our back to school bundle. This year’s bundle includes a backpack, notebooks, pencils, pens, markers, and a water bottle for only $65. Head back to school with top performing supplies and a fresh haircut. Now, that your student will be fully … Continue reading Back to School Savings
Fleck Specs held off the field to win the 35th running of the Cinniapolis Derby at Cinniapolis Prairie. Fleck Specs, trained by Gus Walvon, ran out of the the third post next to the odds-on favorites, Healthy Burger and Cavalier. This is the third victory on the circuit this year for Mr. Walvon and Fleck Specs. “I’m so proud of her (Fleck Specs). She raced … Continue reading Fleck Specs Wins Cinniapolis Derby
I am an expert in bad luck. I was born with 8 toes. I am allergic to peanuts, grass, and gluten, to name a few of the more mainstream allergies. I was diagnosed with a learning disability at the age of 9. My parents did not speak fluent English and refused to teach me their native language because they felt it would hinder my opportunities … Continue reading Opinion on World’s Bad Luck
Cinniapolis Chorus 