The Holy Sheriff Legion (HSL) announced a successful sting operation breaking up a meat trafficking ring allegedly responsible for 65% of illegal meat distribution within Cinniapolis. The HSL alleges Newton Nutt, 23, led a group of recent college graduates that used travel blogging as a front to visit regions near Cinniapolis to purchase meat with intent to distribute illegally.

Mr. Nutt refused comment through his attorney. The HSL maintains this sophisticated operation was finally exposed when an overturned box truck supposed to be carrying lemons was discovered to have its trailer walls lined with skirt steaks. They were able to uncover the supply trail culminating in today’s detainment of Mr. Nutt at North Trade Station.

General John Chester, HSL Chief of Operations, said the public was never in danger, “Our operation prioritized public safety. The alleged meat trafficker was set up to ride a train with trained undercover HSL agents. There was not one citizen present in Mr. Nutt’s railcar.”

According to sources, Mr. Nutt had been under surveillance since August 2024. The now infamous lemon truck accident was in July 2024. The HSL has charged Mr. Nutt with possession of an illegal substance and intent to distribute an illegal substance.

Mayor Winston of Walesburg, where meat is legal again, weighed in, “We’ll be contacting the appropriate officials in Cinniapolis to secure the release of Mr. Nutt into Walesburg. He is free to consume or distribute or whatever he wants to do with his meat here. We are a free community, welcome to folks of all different tastes,” she said. Mr. Nutt’s attorney confirmed their team has been in contact with the Walesburg government but has not yet been able to speak to the Cinniapolis government nor officials at the HSL.

If recent history is any indicator, Mr. Nutt will likely be processed and sentenced in Cinniapolis. This administration has shown very little lenience for illegal meat traffickers. Another high profile operation busting illegal meat in Cinniapolis resulted in the death of the ring leader and community folk hero, “Night Shift”, a resident of Walesburg. “We are serious about our way of life, preserving the planet for the next generation. It only works if everyone cooperates. If you don’t cooperate, we will catch you. We will process you. And, we will do the job of saving your children since you don’t have the courage to sacrifice for their future,” said Mayor Gondola, at the time of “Night Shift’s” death.

BBQ season is right around the corner. Unfortunately, Mayor Gondola’s administration appears to be firing up the coals for this year’s sacrificial lamb, alleged meat trafficker Mr. Nutt.