Since meat was officially banned in Cinniapolis on September 5th, several meat suppliers and retailers have closed their doors or left town. However, Dragg Meat and Dairy decided to stand its ground in Cinniapolis selling its meat and dairy products while paying any fines when audited by local government inspectors. Gregory Dragg announced today that he accepted an offer to sell Dragg Meat and Dairy to Waldo Penney, owner of Penney’s Fish Market.

“It was a natural alignment. Waldo and I are like-minded individuals with a shared keen business sense,” said Mr. Dragg. “When the majority of my business was outlawed, Waldo made the incredible gesture of purchasing our on-hand and on-order meat inventory which allowed our payroll to continue for several months while paying outrageous fines to the city. That kindness kept us afloat. Now, he has built us a ship to continue our journey in supplying the finest, most valuable meat and dairy products in the world.”

“This was an easy decision. Small business owners have to stick together and lend support wherever possible. Otherwise the world will be nothing but Thick Pickins on every block. Mr. Dragg was a shining example of that spirit while he was at the forefront of pandemic fundraising for fellow business owners,” said Mr. Penney. “I look forward to our partnership in providing quality, nutritional products for Cinniapolitans.”

The details of the purchase have not been released. But, Mr. Dragg expects it to be business as usual, “Nothing changes for the consumer, we have the same friendly service and outstanding products at their fingertips,” he said. “We’ll continue to pay the unfair fines and continue to lobby the government to end the ridiculous ban on meat.”

Mr. Penney addressed the purchase from a different perspective, “Yes, this allows folks to keep their jobs and for Cinniapolitans to continue patronizing a local business that has been present during the highs and lows of our recent history. But, this is also about increasing our political footprint with expanded purchasing power. We have an eye on 2028 and it’s going to take a lot of blood, sweat, and treasure to defeat the Gondola machine,” said Mr. Penney, referencing the next Cinniapolis Mayoral election in 2028. “Gregory is a fellow patriot. With this merger, both he and I are ensuring we’ll be on the right side of freedom.” Mr. Penney ran in the 2023 Special Election, garnering just 1% of the vote.

Both Mr. Penney and Mr. Dragg have been frequent critics of Mayor Gondola. “This is our time to plot, plan, and perfect our strategy for 2028. We will run an opposition candidate and we will win,” said Mr. Penney. “Expanding our retail spaces and online presence, providing quality nutrition for Cinniapolitans, and growing our treasure chest are just a few small things we can do to stay in the fight against this tyrannical administration.”

We reached out to the Mayor’s office for comment but did not receive a response as of this publishing.