“Outlaw Thanksgiving” is trending on CNPS Stream encouraging Cinniapolitans to resist the meat ban in favor of a traditional Thanksgiving turkey meal. Several posts and videos detail the nearest out-of-town grocers, meat suppliers, and back-alley merchants supplying turkeys for the upcoming holiday.

In a sign of the times, CSD units have been increasing patrols near city limits to thwart turkey traffickers. CSD CEO Rhonda Dixon said, “This has been blown out of proportion. We have merely sent additional surveillance near Cinni borders to root out bad actors intentionally violating the laws of our city. We are not the bad guys here.” Ms. Dixon further elaborated their patrols are a result of intelligence reports from the HSL, “We are always working in sync with our HSL partners. Our main concern is outsiders taking advantage of Cinniapolitans through turkey price gouging and supplying old, expired meat to those wishing to have a traditional Thanksgiving.”

Meanwhile, cannibalism continues to thrive in Cinniapolis. “Our friends at the HSL are working day and night to root out the cannibals. We’ll see the success of their hard work soon enough,” said Ms. Dixon. “I look forward to the CSD and HSL continued synergy upon return from my Thanksgiving vacation,” she said.

The meat ban continues to degrade the quality of life here in Cinniapolis. With cannibalism and illegal meat trafficking carving out a place at the Thanksgiving table this year, one has to wonder if the meat ban is causing more immediate harm than initially anticipated. Mayor Gondola disputes that notion, “Listen, these thugs moving illegal meat and the cannibal sickos would be committing crimes no matter what, ok? If they couldn’t traffic meat, they’d traffic other black-market goods. We’ve got a plan to disrupt and dismantle the underground economy in Cinniapolis. In 2024, Cinni black markets go away forever,” he said. But what of the remainder of 2023, “Well, folks got time off for the holidays and it’s difficult to get good work done in November and December, ” he said.

The dismissive attitudes of leadership and their draconian laws have paved the way for “Outlaw Thanksgiving”. These supposed climate safety regulations are intended to make Cinniapolis safer. But, the oppressive laws have borne new crimes and grown the network of criminals operating within Cinniapolis. This year, Grandma and Grandpa are not only the turkey chefs, they’re outlaws.